Erectile Dysfunction- a common condition

December 13, 2013  |   Blog   |     |   0 Comment

Many men are affected physically, emotionally and psychologically by erectile dysfunction.

The inability to get an erection and/ or maintain an erection is  a baffling affliction.The causes are varied and mysterious. Sometimes it happens at the beginning of a relationship or partway through when the relationship is growing in importance. Or it  always happens and various coping mechanisms are employed to get around it.

Partners are equally distressed. Nobody is very happy or very patient by the time I see such folks in my practise.

Potential physical causes are low testosterone, smoking, medications, cardiovascular illness, diabetes, some medical procedures..

Psychosocial factors include anxiety, depression, anger, overuse of porn, drugs, alcohol, relationship factors and personality factors. Inexperience is a factor also. Grief and loss also.Divorce also.

In all cases that I have worked with trauma has been a major factor – prior to the current relationship and concurrent with the relationship. Marriages are tough. Finding a way to collaborate with someone who has a different emotional blueprint is not easy. Sometimes harsh words and unloving actions cause resentments that linger and show up in the bedroom even when the person believes they have forgiven.

I use a particular therapeutic intervention that allows these unprocessed experiences to be resolved easily and quickly. EMDR has been developed for the rapid resolution of trauma and the positive installation of resources needed to face anxious situations. This method reduces the number of sessions needed.relationships

Erectile performance anxiety is a state of apprehension and self focused attention to the anticipation of difficulty to achieve or maintain an erection during sexual activity. Avoidance of sexual situations and other safety behaviors are common also.

Ask yourself these questions:

1. I feel anxious or worried when sex becomes a possibility.

2. I have the same thoughts about loosing an erection over and over again.

3. I feel like a failure as a lover, husband, man.

4. I find myself blocking out my partner when having sex in order to get/maintain an erection.

5. I find myself fantasizing extreme thoughts when having sex.



  • If you would like to follow up with more information about affairs please read Esther Perel's new book. Some of her ideas are included in ...

    The State of Affairs – Rethinking Infidelity