Blue prints don’t match up

Once the infatuation wears off, romantic partners living together become subject to their inner, unconscious blue print inherited from family of origin. Many tasks and rituals need to be established. Couples who have been crazy for each other are surprised and often disheartened by this typical struggle. Women often lead the charge for household chores, time together and many other issues that are influenced by our biology. We have the hormones estrogen and progesterone that make tending and befriending very enjoyable and necessary. Guys are awash in testosterone . Competing, striving, adventure and sex come naturally to them.I know these are broad generalizations.

And there’s more, each brings individual differences. Think of  a typical family event: dinner. Some families gather round the dining table every night and have conversations, others watch TV and chow down on TV trays, in others it’s every man, woman and child for him- or herself. These ways can seem like the only or best way. Therein lies the challenge for new couples. How do they develop their own blueprint – one that works for 2018 and beyond? Talk, talk and more talk. Listen, listen and more listening.

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