Staying Married FOREVER

“Happily ever after” What does that mean for today’s modern marriages ? Staying the course, avoiding divorce, learning to be married well to the one you chose turns out to be good for us.Human beings thrive with the familiarity and the adventure of a happy marriage. Our health, wealth and well being is enhanced by the commitment of being married well.This undertaking locks individuals into a course of action that determines the ups and downs of their life, sometimes dreary and frustrating, sometimes inspiring and awe FUL. In our modern times there are fewer reasons to get married. We do not need to be married to have children, to redistribute out family resources, to have an income if you are female, or to secure social status or privilege. Even if divorce is difficult, there is less stigma and less inconvenience than ever before.

The good reasons to get married today make for a complicated and demanding relationship. Many believe their marriage should fulfill a multitude of expectations – intimacy, support,stability,happiness, material abundance, validation, happiness and sexual passion.Many people report they want to have a partner who is “there for them”, ( CONSTANTLY ) This idea of marriage is based on a mother -infant model. While we want mothers/fathers/caretakers to be as attuned to small children and babies as possible, this is not a robust idea for adults. Kindness, caring, compassion are wonderful traits for all adults, especially in a marriage, but not on demand. Adults need to self soothe through the troubled times, bringing out the best in themselves and each other. Issues from childhood and adolescence need the attention of the individual for the marriage to be a robust one.

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