6 Stages of Marriage – Pearls Before Swine Cartoon

February 06, 2018  |   Blog   |     |   0 Comment


There’s a funny cartoon in the Times Colonist this Sunday (January 21) in the Pearls Before Swine strip, called “the Six Stages of Relationships.”

Stage 1: Couple in wedding duds say to each other, ” You’re the BEST thing that ever happened to me. ”

Stage 2: Same couple a little older sitting at opposite ends of a purple couch saying, or maybe just thinking:”You’re not as great as I thought ” and ” You’ve changed. ”

How many time have I heard that, as a therapist, along with :” He/she doesn’t love me anymore.” “I love you, I am just not  ‘in LOVE’ with you.”

Stage 3: Couple, older now, outside their cartoon house glaring at each other. Now the caption is,”YOU need to change .”

Stage 4:Couple, even older, looking over a wall away from each other’s gaze, captioned, “You can’t be changed. ”

Stage 5 :Couple embracing: ” I accept you as you are.”

Stage 6 : Man on ground beside gravestone. Caption:”You’re the BEST thing that ever happened to me.”

I hope today you are appreciating and understanding the current stage of your relationship as well as the lessons to be learned from what is happening now. If you are struggling and unhappy, but can’t create any sustaining change, yet cannot leave your relationship, you are likely in the crucible of differentiation.That evolutionary state with its ups and downs, ins and outs, hots and colds which will eventually smooth off the edges of your immature self and create a more resilient, compassionate human. Hang in there: the best is yet to come.


Thank you to Stephan Pastis for allowing me to use his art.


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