Vacation Sex

Just as we plan for a holiday to refresh us and promote connection with our loved ones and other parts of the planet, we can think about and plan for sexual rejuvenation in our relationships. Most married or committed folks get caught up in same old, same old sexual style. We do left over sex- what ever we can muster after everything else is done in our busy life.

Think about what you still really like about your sex life now. What else would you like to do to make those experiences even more memorable or exciting? Can you think of three experiences or changes you’d like from your partner or yourself that you could talk to your partner about? How you bring these up is crucial. Picking a relaxed time and place is important- a new venue perhaps. Leading with what you still enjoy is important to set a receptive stage. Telling your partner why you might feel reluctant to self disclose is important too. You may be worried that he/she will see you as deviant in some way or over sexed. Maybe they will feel threatened, hurt or frightened by what you’d like. It may be that what’s been happening is not enough. You’re in a rut that only one person feels. Going outside your comfort zone is part of what keeps marriage alive and well for the long haul. Talking honestly and kindly, owning your own part in whatever has been happening or not happening is what makes sex emotionally intimate and then sexually more intimate. Good luck. I’ve been kissing more in my favourite holiday places-park benches, sandy beaches, rocky cliffs, lovely gardens.

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